I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just blew my weed a kiss
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
