Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
