I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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