That's intense
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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