Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
