dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
