Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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