i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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