I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize