OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
