If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
did i walk over a car last night?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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