i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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