I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
