I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
