Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
