CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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