i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
