apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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