carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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