I'm really into asian looking animals
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
