i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize