the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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