Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just want nice things and good sex
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
