So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
