Say something about gay babies.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
