What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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