I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
