I cockslap morals
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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