Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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