been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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