Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
