So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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