My cat gives me a boner
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
