The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
