If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
