My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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