i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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