if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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