normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize