I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
