First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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