Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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