i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
