WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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