Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
