NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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