I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
