I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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