NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
