so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
