have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize