so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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