Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
