You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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