Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize