I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
