woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
