I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
