I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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