Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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