Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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