all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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