I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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