woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
