the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Randomize
