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Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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