god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
the gays at disneyland are vicious
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
