The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
